What Growing Up Really Feels Like: Expectations vs. Reality

• Chris The Grad
• 0 Comments
• June 30, 2025

By Chris the Graduate 

When you’re younger, growing up seems like the ultimate goal. You imagine being an adult with total freedom: driving your car, living in your place, doing whatever you want, whenever you want. But as you start to experience adulthood, reality hits a little differently. The truth is, growing up is a mix of small wins, unexpected stress, lessons you didn’t ask for, and a whole lot of figuring things out as you go. So let’s talk about the real deal, what we thought adulthood would be like, and what it’s actually like. 

Expectation: “I’ll Move Out and Be Free!”

You probably thought that moving out of your parents’ house meant total independence. No curfews, no one asking where you’re going, and the fridge is yours now.

Reality: You’re free… but that freedom comes with bills, laundry, dishes, and budgeting. It’s amazing having your own space, but it can also get lonely and overwhelming. Groceries are expensive, rent isn’t cheap, and somehow, the trash always fills up faster than you remember to take it out. Still, there’s a kind of pride in learning how to handle it all, even if you have to call your mom about how to unclog the sink.

Expectation: “I’ll Get a Great Job Right Away” 

We all imagined finishing school and jumping right into a well-paying, fulfilling job. A job with benefits, a nice office, maybe even a cool title.

Reality: The job market can be rough, especially for entry-level roles that somehow expect three years of experience. You might end up working a job that’s not in your field, juggling multiple part-time gigs, or interning while still applying to anything that’ll pay. And that’s okay. Almost everyone starts in a less-than-dream job. What matters is getting experience, growing your skills, and staying open to where your path might lead, even if it’s not what you planned at first.

Expectation: “I’ll Be Good with Money”

You might’ve assumed that once you had a job, budgeting would be simple. You’d save, invest, and still have cash left over for fun stuff.

Reality: Paychecks come in, and bills go out. Fast. Between rent, groceries, gas, subscriptions, and emergency expenses (like your car deciding to break down again), saving money isn’t as easy as it sounds. Many of us live paycheck to paycheck at first, learning how to stretch $20 until payday. But that doesn’t mean you’re failing, financial stability takes time, planning, and a lot of trial and error.

Expectation: “I’ll Feel Like an Adult”

You might’ve believed that one day you’d wake up and just know you were grown, confident, mature, totally in control.

Reality: Even as an adult, you sometimes still feel like a teenager pretending to know what you’re doing. The truth is, most people are figuring things out as they go. Being an adult doesn’t mean having all the answers; it means learning to make decisions, deal with consequences, and take responsibility. It’s okay if you still feel unsure sometimes. That’s normal. Being grown-up isn’t about always getting it right; it’s about learning and trying again.

Expectation: “All My Friendships Will Stay the Same”

It’s easy to imagine that the same people you grew up with will always be by your side, no matter what life throws at you.

Reality: As you grow, your circle changes. Some friends drift apart, and some relationships fade. It’s not always personal, it’s just life. People move, grow, and change paths. But you also make new friends through school, work, and shared experiences. Your support system evolves, and that’s part of growing. It’s okay to let go of what no longer fits and make room for what does.

Expectation: “I’ll Have It All Figured Out by My 20s”

Maybe you thought by 21 or 25 you’d have everything together: job, apartment, relationship, confidence, direction.

Reality: Most of us are still figuring things out well into our 20s and beyond. There’s no perfect timeline. You might change majors, switch careers, move cities, or discover you want something completely different than what you planned. That’s not failure, it’s growth. Life isn’t a straight line, and your 20s are a time to explore, take chances, mess up, and learn who you are.

Growing up isn’t some big moment where everything falls into place. It’s slow. It’s confusing. It’s messy. But it’s also exciting, empowering, and full of lessons that shape you. You’ll have weeks where you feel on top of the world, and others where everything feels off. That’s just part of the process.

The good news? You’re not alone. Everyone goes through these ups and downs. You’re allowed to not have everything figured out yet. Just keep showing up, asking questions, taking care of yourself, and doing your best. That’s what growing up looks like.